Free Will

For years now, Chad and I have felt that we are being led by God to adopt. It was a really scary idea at first - but as we've prayed about it, we know that it was the right thing for us. I guess what I've wanted to happen next is that I want God to make the first move. I want Him to make it easy and clear. I want Him to open the doors and make it happen. But I'm learning that I don't believe He always operates that way. Sometimes, He tells us His desire for us and then it's up to us to put forth some effort. It's so easy to say that we'll do it when we have more money, when we reach this goal or that goal. But we could put this off our entire lives if we try to wait for the perfect time. And, I believe that God would allow us to put it off and never do it. He's told us His desire and it's up to us what we choose to do with it. It's our free will. I really feel He would let me live my whole life and NOT adopt. He'd still love me and I'd still go to heaven, but I would not have fulfilled His desire for my life. What a tragedy would it be, to not live my life according to His plan, but live it according to my own. His way is always better than ours. And, what a tragedy it would be for the child that we didn't adopt. Would that child be adopted into another loving home? Or, would they live their lives hoping to be a part of a family, hoping to know unconditional love, hoping to know a day that's not filled with hunger and what if it never happened because we didn't do our part.

This quote sums it up:
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. - Johann von Goethe

I guess for us, the first step is the hardest. It's so overwhelming - in so many ways. Where do we start, how do we know that we're using a legitimate agency, are we ready for the potential hurdles, what about the challenges that we will face as our child adjusts to having their world turned upside-down, even if it is a better life. I know that prayer and seeking God will get us past all of these situations, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I didn't still have those concerns.

I recently read a post on another blog of a lady who is in the process of adopting internationally. She posted this and it pierced through me when I read it. This is the entire post:

injustice
"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why he allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when he could do something about it but I am afraid he might ask me the same thing."

Wow, does that stop you in your tracks too? It stopped me in mine. It's time for us to make a move, and I know that we need to make it with courage. We need to not let the fear of the unknown make the decisions of our lives. Easier said than done.